Being a mother or father is never easy and learning everything that you need to know is a continual challenge with many parents only learning what to do when it is slightly too late. It is always easy to say what is right to do from the outside, however, it is never something that can be intuitive once you are a parent. However, there are accepted qualities that will be important to work on even before you become a parent.
You must be willing to show love to your children while being flexible to adapt to their needs as they start growing up. A vital quality that all parents should always have is being supportive of whatever their children may want to do, yet, still allowing their children to face challenges on their own. Being a good parent is not having these from the start but being able to grow with your children to show these qualities as everyone grows older.
The many things that are needed to be a good parent can take a lifetime to learn while others may seemingly be able to have these qualities from the start. Knowing what you need, what you should be doing, and how to adapt to new challenges as your children grow older. This is why you should always be aware of how your children are growing and what will be needed to be done to ensure that they are growing healthily.
What is the most important quality that a mother should have?
A good mother will always offer love, giving hugs and kisses when need, while remembering to see things from your kid’s point of view when they argue. Above all else, the quality that a mother should have, that can feel impossible to have, should be patient in all matters. It is important to remember that your love should always be there, whether you are mad, irritated, or even at your wit’s end the love should always be there. (source: Cafemom)
Together with the other parent the mother of a child should set clear and easy-to-understand boundaries of what the child can and cannot do. While working towards learning them to understand why things can or cannot be done, instilling in the children that they can do some things while not doing others. This is why you should have a clear conversation with your significant other about these boundaries.
Further, the qualities that set a good mother apart from the rest will be when the mother spends one on one time with their children, playing their games, with the rules that the child created. The last thing being that discipline is good, teaching children from a young age that there are consequences to being naughty, whether they know it or not.
Which qualities should a father have to be considered good?
A good father will be actively involved with their children throughout their lives, being there to teach basic motor skills when still a baby, playing games with a toddler and doing activities as they grow older. It is vital that a father, just like a mother, have unconditional love, even in the worst of times at any age, a father should love their child no matter what. A saying made popular by TV is that a father can discipline, punish, and more, but should never take away the love. (Source: New Middle-Class Dad)
Fathers should remember to model their behavior around that which they expect their children to be doing, as more often than not a child will mimic that what they saw from their parents. More often than not a father will have to ensure that the limitations that have been set are being followed properly, especially with technology.
One of the most important things to remember for a father is not to be impatient, listening to their children when they are speaking. Having an ear that is always available to be spoken to is a vital part of being a father, as the children grow up you will find that listening without overreacting is something all children need. Even when your teenager has made a bad decision, being there to listen to them and understanding what they want to say can be more valuable than anything else in life.
What makes a parent effective?
An effective parent will always enforce the rules that they have set out, making sure that bedtimes are followed, the room is clean before everyone sleeps, or any other rules that have been made. However, parents should also be flexible, knowing when and how rules that have been created can be bent. This is usually when you will allow your children to go to bed when the house still in chaos after a birthday party, event, or just a busy day. (Source: Very Well Family)
Many times, the only way to be an effective parent is to constantly talk to your children as well, learning how to communicate with them is vital. Because as your children are growing up they will look for a place to talk to people if you are not part of this circle you may find that your children are growing up without you being a part of their lives. Reading to your kids at a young age will mean they know how to listen to you and in later life be willing to talk to you.
Whether you are with your children or not, they must face their challenges, a child that has everything done for them never learns anything. When you are spending time with them it may be extremely beneficial to have your children face controlled challenges that will teach them about life. This creates new and fresh connections between you and your children, ensuring healthy growth.
What are the qualities that both parents should have?
There are qualities that both parents should have, sharing them as the days go on and building a solid base for your children to grow from. These are the qualities that should always be worked with and when one-half of the parent team fails it should be pointed out that it needs to be adjusted. Many times, you will find that you are both drained and the only way to work through a new challenge is to work as a complete team.
These shared qualities will allow you to comfortably and easily depend on each other, as you know your partner can fill the gaps you are unable to fill. Usually, a good parent team will be able to lift each other higher, helping their children to grow stronger and smarter, offering them advice and help their children may need whenever they are growing up.
You should have a sense of humor
Young, inexperienced parents may think that being strict as your children grow older is bad, or that laughing at certain behavior encourages it. However, a mother or father that never laughs at or with their children can become hated at older ages. A lot of parents around the world quickly learn that having a good sense of humor encourages communication and healthy growth. (Source: Sean Grover)
Both parents should always show love, which can be extremely difficult to remember when you are sick as a dog, the child is sick and grumpy and you both feel miserable. Yet, both parents should always show love, even when things feel impossible and like you have nothing left to give. A hug here or there shows a lot of love and will go a lot further than you could ever possibly expect to refill your energy levels. (Source: Department of Education)
Providing support when it is needed
You may want to think that your children can handle themselves, or as they grow up that they don’t need any support. However, knowing when to be there, even when you and your teenager aren’t saying a word, can show a world of support. Growing up and going through the challenges that the world presents can feel impossible, and just knowing that your parents are there for you will mean more than anyone could ever calculate. (Source: Department of Education)
Being the perfect parent can be a challenge, with many people around the world forgetting to let go of the book and learning how their children need them. These qualities are not something you can learn from a book, or skills that anyone will be born with, most of the time good parents are that because they made the effort to learn what their children needed.
Being a good parent will be different for every child on earth, and the only way you can know what is a good parent for your children will be is by growing with them.